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PHOENIX
Chapter 1
“Thaddeus? Thaddeus Carmichael?” The unknown voice said on the
phone. “Yes?” Thad answered, casting his mind back to whether he had
any debts he hadn’t paid since the man sounded an awful lot like a
collector. “My name is Jason Cross. I’m an estate attorney. I hate to be
the barrier of bad news, but your parents have been in a tragic car
accident and didn’t survive.” The man paused, most likely to give Thad a
chance to process such shocking information. What Thad felt was
numbness. He’d not spoken to his parents in thirteen years. Since the
night they decided their only son was no longer a member of the family.
The night he told them he was in love with his best friend, Haydin
Rivers. The same night Haydin had rejected Thad and called him such
horrible names and become violent that it had turned Thad’s heart to ash.
“I am aware, sir, that you were estranged from your family, however,
their last will and testament is quite specific. I wonder if you could come
to Maysville so we may discuss it?” The man…Jason Cross…said.
Maysville? No, Thad never wanted to go back to Maysville. He had a
nice cushy journalist job in downtown L.A., a beachfront condo he
owned and a tentative boyfriend. He didn’t want to go back to the pain
that town represented. “Mr. Carmichael?” Mr. Cross said into the
silence. “Is it necessary that I be there in person?” Thad said, hating the
way his voice wavered. “I understand this is hard for you. But, yes, it’s
necessary. It has primarily to do with Clarissa.” Mr. Cross said,
obviously misunderstanding the shake in Thad’s voice for grief. Thad
had been standing in his kitchen when he’d answered the phone. Now he
sat heavily in a chair. “Rissa?” He said blankly. Clarissa was four the
night Thad fled Maysville. She’d be…seventeen now. Nearly a young
woman. “Yes. Mr. Carmichael. It’s really very important that I speak to
you in person.” Mr. Cross reiterated. Thad closed his eyes with a sigh.
“I’ll grab a flight in the morning and be in your office tomorrow
afternoon.” Thad said with resignation. “Thank you, Mr. Carmichael. I
will expect you then. Good-bye.” Thad heard the disconnection, but sat
frozen holding the phone to his ear. Maysville.
Shit!
“Hello?” “Hey babe. Bad news. I have to be out of town for an
indeterminate amount of time.” Thad said to Stevie. “Really? But we had
plans tomorrow night!” Thad cringed. Stevie was nearly whining. Maybe
that’s why their relationship had never really gotten very far.
Liar!
It
was an entirely different reason. That was a torch carrying Thad
 didn’t even want to admit to himself, much less Stevie.
There were so
many tiny, insignificant things about Stevie that got on Thad’s nerves.
Whining was one of them. “Hey, I know. But this can’t be helped.” Thad
answered. “Thaddy, are you seeing someone else?”
Je-sus
. Nothing like
getting hit with a nickname he detested and an accusation at the same
time, not to mention the fact that Stevie sure as hell wasn’t exclusive.
“No, Stevie. My parents were killed in a car wreck and I have to go
home to sort things out.” Thad answered, carefully keeping his voice
neutral. “Oh, Thaddy! I’m so sorry! Want me to come with? Moral
support and all that.” Stevie simpered. Thad rolled his eyes. “No,
Stevie. That’s ok. Besides, you know that bitch of a boss you have
wouldn’t let you have the time off anyway.” Thad answered. “True that.”
Stevie replied and Thad gave a sigh of relief. Besides, Thad didn’t want
anyone he might know in Maysville seeing that he settled for someone
like Stevie. He didn’t want anyone in Maysville to even know he liked
men. He was pretty sure his parents wouldn’t have told anyone about
their shame over their son. Thad couldn’t be sure whether Haydin said
anything. It was possible the whole town knew.
Double shit!
Of course,
that was based on whether Haydin even still lived in Maysville.
Thad hung up with Stevie with the promise he’d call every day. A
promise he knew he wouldn’t keep. He called his editor and was told to
take his time and feel free to send in any juicy stories about small town
life. He’d given a strained laughed and said he’d do what he could.
Sandra was well aware he wouldn’t want to go, didn’t want to go. She’d
heard enough from him about his distaste for Maysville over the last ten
years working for her. He dugout his suitcase and began to pack, his
mind sinking back to the night he’d left.
“
You’re a
fag
? What the hell Thaddeus?!” Haydin yelled. Thad cringed
at Haydin’s booming voice and the fact that Haydin never called him
Thaddeus. “Son of a bitch! How could you do this to me? We’re best
friends, and you go all queer on me!” Haydin continued. Thad had
never seen Haydin so angry before. At least not directed at him. But it
was the disgust and revulsion on Haydin’s face that ripped Thad’s
heart into pieces. “I’m sorry, Haydin.” Thad said in a small voice. He
reached towards his best friend, but Haydin jerked back, swung and
hit Thad in the jaw with his fist, snapping Thad’s head to the side,
knocking him to the ground and making Thad’s jaw bloom in pain.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me again!” Haydin said in a low
voice and then whirled around and took off, leaving Thad alone in the
high school football field where they’d been tossing a ball and
sneaking a few beers. “Haydin!” Thad called, but Haydin never turned
around. Thad was sick to his stomach as he felt the already bruising
bone. He never should have revealed his feelings. Never should have
told Haydin that he loved him. Now, he’d lost him forever.
Thad scuffled back home only to be confronted with both parents at
the late hour. He was hurting and sick at heart and didn’t need this.
“Jesus! I’m only an hour late! I’m eighteen. This is bullshit! I just got
kicked to the curb for being in love with my best friend. I don’t need
your crap on top of it!” Thad said, nearly screaming. It was the
shocked look on his parent’s faces that made him realize what he’d
just said. “Oh no.” he moaned, feeling even worse. “Thaddeus Sean
Carmichael! Did you just tell us you are…homosexual?” Thad’s father
said in a very controlled voice. Thad stared at his parents. Thad’s
dad’s face was so ruddy, his eyes blazing, that for a minute, Thad was
afraid he was going to get hit…again. Fearful, he turned to see the sad
and disappointed look on his mother’s face. She didn’t look him in the
eye, but instead looked up at his dad, shook her head and walked
away. Thad turned back to his father. “You are no son of ours. You get
your belongings together and get the hell out of my house!” His father
snarled. Thad was stunned. He’d no idea his parents would react like
that. Without a word he turned to go to his room and start packing.
His eyes landed on a tiny little girl peeking around the hall. Clarissa.
Her green eyes, exactly like his own, were round in fear. He started to
go to her to comfort her when his mother came down the hall and
scooped up Clarissa, holding her away from him as if he were
diseased. That hurt more than his parent’s rejection. Hurt almost as
much as losing Haydin. He would never do anything to hurt his baby
sister. Hadn’t meant to hurt Haydin either. He couldn’t stop the tears
that flowed as he shouldered his duffel bag and left his childhood
home.
Thad’s musings were interrupted by the chime of the grandfather clock.
He was sitting on his bed, suitcase open and only half full, tears falling
from his eyes, a tiny black and white picture clutched in his hands.
Clarissa, the way she looked the last time he saw her. He gently put it
away in the suitcase, and then finished packing. He’d gotten a flight out
at 6 am tomorrow morning, with one layover in Denver that would
actually get him into Lexington by 9:30 am. He’d take a rental car north
from there and get to Maysville by eleven at the latest. Time enough to
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